What Happened While I Was Gone and Away
by Rei10
Summary: Tara has moved from Sunnydale. She takes rash steps to get over her redhaired lover (rated for alchohol abuse, self-mutilation, and language)
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I'm just borrowing all this.  
  
Song: Bad Case of Broken Heart by The Ataris  
  
Warnings: MMMMMM angst! Drunken angst!!!! Some good-old-fashioned self- mutilation. Very hard to put Tara in this position, if she's out of character it's because I put her in my shoes, this is something I used to do, with the licking of the blood. I just had to vent. ANGST!!! Gotta love it.  
  
Spoilers: This is AU-ie because Tara leaves town completely, not just Casa Buffyae (Buffy's house)  
  
Synopsis: After Tara and Willow's break-up, Tara leaves town, moves to Boston. She gets drunk and stuff happens.  
  
Feedback: If you would be so kind. I loved this story, so I kind of left it hanging. Nice juicy room for another chapter. I don't like to waist time though. So, if you want another chapter say that in your review, but review even if you don't want another one.  
  
Tara sat in the bar that resided in Boston, Massachusetts, her new home. She'd left Sunnydale almost a year ago, regretting it everyday. She had told herself she had to get away from Willow. From Willow and her Majicks. She raised her glass to her memories, which she couldn't remember courtesy of Miss Willow Rosenberg.  
  
Today I'm missing something  
  
In this small New England town.  
  
Here's to you my best friend.  
  
Just want to say that I miss  
  
Having you around.  
  
After staggering up the stairs to her apartment she drunkenly attempted to fit the key into the keyhole. "Damnit," Tara slurred, not realizing she held the key upside down, nor that she didn't need it, for the door was left unlocked when she left. "Fucking forgot how to put the key in the hole!" She yelled at the ceiling, assuming Willow could hear her. She flopped onto the floor and leaned back against the whitewashed wall. She giggled immaturely at her last sentence, "Key in the hole, heh heh heh."  
  
I'm staring at your picture  
  
And dreaming that I could hold your hand.  
  
We'd walk down to the ocean  
  
And I would write your name in the sand.  
  
"I miss you ya know?" Tara's intoxicated tone turned suddenly serious. "I wish I didn't have to go, did you know that?" Tara glared at a young man who stared at her as he walked down the hall. "It's your fault damnit!!!" Tara yelled at the man, needing someone to vent on. He looked frightened and quickened his pace down the hall to wear a guard stood. After talking to the man the guard came by and helped Tara into her house although she struggled and cursed him in her drunken rage. He left sitting on the edge of her bed.  
  
They say sometimes you need some time apart  
  
But I've got a bad case of broken heart.  
  
And you're the only one that's got the cure.  
  
And I can't live another day without seeing you smile.  
  
"Oh, Will, Goddess, I love you," Tara began to cry into her hands "It's my fault, I shouldn't have let you do all that stuff, I should have cut you off, made sure you didn't do anymore Majick."  
  
2000 miles between us and I guess that I'm the one to blame.  
  
Relationships and heartaches,  
  
These two things are one and the same.  
  
Tara looked around the room, how could she get everything she was feeling inside to the outside? How could she find release? Standing she noted the collection of sharp crystals she had on her desk. Thoughts of how good self-mutilation would feel at a time like this crossed her mind as she walked to the radio. She paused for a second before realizing the song playing was she and Willow's favorite. She looked from the radio to the crystals and back again.  
  
The radio plays our love song.  
  
I smash my fist right through the dial.  
  
Here's to the broken hearted.  
  
A generation born in denial.  
  
Removing her bloody fist from the wreckage that was recently a cheap boom box, Tara picked up a sharp plastic shard. She felt the endorphin release into her system; she had recently begun to understand why Willow became addicted to the endorphin that the Majicks make. Tara licked the wound she had just caused on the back of her wrist, lapping up the blood happily. She pulled her skin tighter and ran the plastic piece against her skin again, applying pressure. The skin opened up behind the trail of the radio shard. Tara licked again.  
  
They say sometimes you need some time apart  
  
But I've got a bad case of broken heart.  
  
And you're the only one that's got the cure.  
  
And I can't live another day without seeing you smile.  
  
A ringing phone woke Tara from her sleep. She looked at the clock- 2:30 PM. Reaching for the phone she noticed her raw arm and the incisions she had made the night before. Tears sprang to her eyes as she slowly began to remember bits and pieces of her alcohol and mourning induced activities. After a few more rings Tara came back to the present. Pulling it to her ear, she whispered into the receiver "Hello?" Her voice was choked with tears. Tara jumped when she heard the voice at the other end. "Tara?" Willow's voice was filled with worry, "What's wrong?" 


	2. 1800DENIED

"Tara? Tara! Are you there? Are you alright?"  
  
"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine Will."  
  
A sigh flowed through the telephone wire and into Tara's ear, "Thank the Goddess, I thought you were hurt, you sound hurt, are you hurt?"  
  
"No, I'm fine."  
  
"Uh, okay, I called because it's Dawn's birthday next week. Are you coming?"  
  
"What! Coming? Oh! Yeah. Sorry, I- my mind was elsewhere."  
  
"In the gutter?"  
  
"."  
  
"So you're coming, to the party?"  
  
"Sure, tell her I'll be there."  
  
"Okay."  
  
An awkward silence passed over the line.  
  
"I miss you, Tare."  
  
".Just tell her I'll be there."  
  
"."  
  
"Bye." Tara hung up the phone and flopped back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. 


End file.
